How “well” do you feel in your home?

And when I talk about feeling well at home, I’m not just talking about feeling physically well but also mentally strong, calm and at peace in your home.

We often underestimate the effect our surroundings have on our emotions, energy, and even our relationships. It’s easy to blame external stress, work, schedules, even the weather, for how we feel. But sometimes, the biggest factor is closer than we think, our home. How we feel in our home and about our home can have a huge impact.

“Well-being is the experience of health, happiness, and prosperity. It includes having good mental health, high life satisfaction, a sense of meaning or purpose, and the ability to manage stress”. – Psychology Today

Do you feel happy at home?

So in taking this definition and applying it to your home, think about how happy and well you feel at home, and I don’t mean happy when you are vegged in front of the TV watching Netflix, I mean happy when you open your eyes in the morning and see your bedroom, happy when you put your key in the lock when you come home, happy when someone calls unexpectedly, happy when you sit down at night at your dining table for dinner.

And if you don’t feel happy, why is that? Yes, there may be difficult things happening in your life at work or with family, but does your home give you respite from this, an escape, or does it add to the chaos and stress? We want our homes to be our safe space, a cocoon, shielding us from the outside world and replenishing us when we spend time in them.

Be realistic

Coming back to my last blog post,  Change how you live in your home now design isn’t about perfection, it’s about what works for you and your family. When I work with my clients I look to balance how they currently live in their homes and how they would like to live. If there are elements that are working well, we keep them, if there are areas that aren’t working at all, we address these and finally if there are things that they might want to include, but are maybe aspirational, for this it comes back to being practical and realistic. It’s your home so you can do as you please, but you need to think through the reality of your life too.

For example, do you dedicate a room in your house to yoga and meditation if you don’t currently practice?  Yes, if you know by having a room you will do it, but no if you are only trying it out and aren’t sure if you’ll stick to it. The last thing I want to create is a redundant space and one that mocks you as you walk by because you don’t ever use it!  We could dedicate a corner of your bedroom or living room that you can quickly set up for yoga (roll out mat, candle, speaker for your phone etc.) and start there.

Could your home be making you feel worse?

How do you feel when you sit at your kitchen table for dinner? Relaxed, ready to enjoy your meal with your family? Or agitated because you have to squeeze past the island stools to get the plates to the table, not everyone fits comfortably at the table, the light above is too strong/weak, you can still see the dirty dishes in the sink, the island is covered in “stuff”, and you can’t see out to the garden because the blind is broken.

I’m not saying you need to live a minimalist life or get really good at clearing all surfaces before you eat, but there are things you can change about how you live in this space, to make it work better for you. Again it comes back to being realistic and understanding your needs and habits.

So what are the signs your home isn’t making you feel well?

If you experience any of these it could be a sign that you need to look at how your space is functioning:

• Constant low-level irritation or stress at home. Clutter in corners or on surfaces might somewhat blend into the background but you are subconsciously aware of it every time you pass it and it causes you stress. Also noise from TVs, extractor fans, showers, echoey open plan spaces or hallways, noise from upstairs, smells from cooking, again all of these might be irritants that you haven’t thought about.

• Poor sleep quality. If your bedroom isn’t relaxing or it’s not got the right kind of light, or there are piles of clothes on the floor or chair, again this can cause you to feel frustrated or annoyed before you go to bed or when you wake up.

• Strained family interactions. If your living space isn’t designed for your family as it is now or for how you want to live. Maybe there isn’t enough space around the table or the sofa doesn’t work for everyone or the chairs are uncomfortable or children are fighting because they share a room or one person can’t study/relax/work because of distractions. All of these can add stress and strain to family dynamics.

• Difficulty relaxing or switching off from work. If you constantly feel like your work is with you because you work from home but haven’t dedicated a room for your home office. Or you have your laptop on the kitchen table at night and papers scattered throughout the house, it’s like your work is following you around and there are no boundaries between work and home. Again this doesn’t contribute to feeling calm and relaxed at home.

How could your space make you feel well at home?

• Thoughtful layouts to reduce friction in your day – consider how you use the space, what you need when you get up, what’s your routine, what do you need to have to hand before you leave the house. How does everyone else use the space in the morning, afternoon and evening. What about weekends?

• Colour choices to create calm or uplift moods – think through what you do in each space, what the light is like in the room, what time of the day you use it, how you want to feel in this space and choose colours accordingly.

• Biophilic elements (plants, natural textures) to lower cortisol – bring nature in and also lead the eye out to nature that surrounds you. Colours, shapes, textures and patterns from nature can all be incorporated into you home.

• Lighting that supports your natural body rhythms – what do you need in a space, task lighting, ambient light, layer it up,  think of the colour temperature and strength of light.

• Sensory touches: texture, scent, sound –  think about the things you touch/hear/see/smell and taste during the day. What are the surfaces you run your hands along, what noises do you hear, what would help you switch off, what are the smells in your home, how is your dining space set up to enhance how you enjoy your food?

How we improved how my client Sarah felt in her home

I met Sarah in her home. She told me she couldn’t relax in her living room. She had tidied up before I arrived, everyone does, though there is no need!
In her line of sight when she sat on her sofa was the kitchen island and the pile of letters and stuff piled on it and she also had full view of the kids open toy storage as she watched TV. She didn’t realise that both of these were making her anxious and pulling her back to the kitchen to sort the pile of papers and also irritating her as her mind ran to doing a clear out of the toys.

We couldn’t remove the toys from the living area but we did have scope to move them to the back of the room and zone this space as a play area for the kids. We also sourced some closed storage, a beautiful vintage piece that looked lovely but also stored everything. Reorganising the layout of the living area and adding a new sofa with a higher back and chaise so that it lead the line of sight towards the fireplace and windows out to the garden rather than the kitchen island, made a big difference. We came up with a plan for the clutter in the kitchen and allowed for different storage solutions in the kitchen.

Sarah felt more in control of the space and was able to relax in the evenings without having things distracting her. The changes were realistic and worked for her and her family. They were also changes that worked for now but could be reconsidered in the future as their needs changed.

Your home should be your sanctuary – not another source of stress

Your home is yours, even if you rent. It’s your space in the universe. An escape, a place you should really feel yourself, be able to express your personality and let it tell your story. Too many people wait and wait, for inspiration, the right time to make a change, to extend, to move, but all this time you are not living fully in you home. Just thinking a little bit more about how you live in your space and making some intentional design changes could dramatically change how you feel in your home.

If your home drains you more than it supports you, let’s talk. Book a Discovery call with me today and we can chat through what you might need in your home.